New Year, Same Me

I was kind of indifferent to the end of 2014. Our baby grew and grew and I went back to work, but overall it was just another year passed. A great year, but a gone one.
I do, however, always get excited about the prospect of a new year. What will happen this year? What wont? Will I be the same person at years end? Will I make changes and stick with them?

I'm sure there are a lot of 'self' resolutions I could (and should) make. In fact I have, though I started on most of these several months ago.

• Eat better. Work out more. Cut back on wine (not get rid of it altogether, obvi). Go to church more. Learn new things. Read more. Get back to my hobbies. Make new friends. Tame my anxiety.

But the more important resolutions are the ones that affect the other people in my life.

• Be more present for Olive - ie. put down the cell phone. 
• Turn off the TV.
• Do new things together. Go out more. Explore.
• Be kinder. Judge less. 
• Be ok with telling people what you think, even if they may not like it or agree. Accept when they do not.
• Surprise B more. Work harder on our relationship.

Ollie with some of her Xmas loot.

I don't want to be a NEW me. I want to be a BETTER me. I've let my 'self' go since having a kid - something I think almost every mother does. And it's ok. You have to because there's just no time. And that little person is now more important then life itself. But now that shes less dependent on me, I get to take some of that back. Remember who I am. I like to binge watch cheesy teeny bopper shows and play video games. I like to work out in the evening and eat cheerios for dinner. I like to play on my computer all night. I love to read and write, and sew and create.

So the real resolution here is this: Find balance. Balance of being a mother, a worker, a spouse, a friend, myself.

Seems simple enough, right?